tonight we just put up a harp and no mistnets. it was beautiful out, but we had trapped a lot the last two nights and are running low on PIT tags and so we are taking it easy. there was a beautiful full moon.
yesterday the water pump crashed and we may not have water for a while. i smell bad and would like to shower. after handling bats that have fleas, it's nice to shower. ah well. we are running short on supplies and need to go into town. bah.
I'm getting kinda nostalgic since we are leaving soon and I'm going to miss it here, but I'm also really excited to get home. this is a closing of a chapter though - possibly the last time I ever do field work with bats!
i feel weird lately. I'm tired all of the time. stressed. presentation hasn't been started for the conference, nor the analysis. just getting all the data into one data base has been a challenge. i'm worried that I won't get anything done when I'm back in halifax either. i feel like maybe I haven't taken full advantage of living out in the woods for so long. it's a weird set up though, there isn't much of a trail system here. the one trail is a boardwalk often filled with kids screaming.
there is another trail that leads to a river, it's pretty awesome, but I've just been too tired to do anything. but i've walked the trail a few times. I've been so inactive - the opposite of what I thought i'd be out here. I miss my bike. I miss walking around with jake. i shouldn't even need trails. but i have a terrible sense of direction and will easily become lost. i was reading a lot but i've stopped. i brought my knitting stuff here and haven't knitted anything.
i'm scared of failure, but i just dont care at this point. i miss having the freedom to go where i want. i've been done work since midnight yet i'm still awake - it's nearly 4am. this sleep schedule is ruining me. we are running out of tags, vials, and the glue is drying up - and its hard to find. the batteries are dying. one of the systems isn't working right and i dont know how to fix it. we haven't been able to go whale watching yet.
i've been listening to a lot of johnny hobo and the freight trains.
i'm having a hard time talking to people about veganism. people ask stuff or say things I just dont agree with, but i have a hard time calling them on their bullshit. trying to stay professional or civil and yet talk about something so near and dear to my heart is hard. it's hard for me to view non-vegans as anything except monsters who kill animals. i really just try not to think about it, but it's hard, and ignoring it doesn't make me a good vegan (?). this is maybe just late night ramblings/frustrations.
i'm also wondering about the ethics of this research project. pit tagging bats has been taking a tole on me, especially recaptures where they haven't healed properly. the juveniles are flying soon and I'm worried about tagging them. is pit tagging bats vegan? i dont know. it seems a bit like exploitation to me.
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